Zach's Garbage of the Day

Meh.

2011-12-03T00:27:00.001+08:00

Tell me what's the difference when you already clearly said you can't.

When you've already started following the footsteps. What's next?

I don't want to know. If you know me well enough, you know. If you don't, you don't. I guess it's the latter. =)

I wish you all the best too.

When you stopped trying to prove things;

2011-09-13T19:21:00.001+08:00

the world stops as well.

It's just the same as when you stop your car, you won't be able to go where you want to go in the first place.

I stopped. I stopped because it was just too similar to what I have been through, it won't ever again be of something of importance but it will certainly be something that will be forgotten as time pass.

But, things are always brighter when you open yourself up. I will, definitely without any hesitation whatsoever.

Let's just hope for the best and hope for good things to happen in due time; and this time it better be the right one.

Never again I will make myself the one making all the sounds and all the claps. Never.

The answer to the question

2011-08-14T12:45:00.003+08:00

You asked me why.

I replied; "Cold".

"Ignorance and taken for-granted".

"Forgotten".

You asked me how.

I replied; "Be yourself".

"Don't judge a book by its cover".

"Never follow something you don't want to do".

The fact that the words that are said are oftentimes different from the actions that are acted out. I am the same, but I never or at least try to not do so to others, except when it's me alone.

Therefore, just be yourself and mean what you say, I would say to you. =)

You're still a friend, a bloody good one in fact.

Dreams

2011-07-16T06:17:00.002+08:00

What is with the dreams?

What is with the occasional missing heartbeat?

So many questions but so little time. Here I am now, still turning around the same circle not stepping out of it yet. Always I would just retract and enter the shell again. But why...?

How are you doing? Are you fine? Do you miss things as well? Would you miss things as well?
The answers somehow will just come to me like a waterfall.
You're no longer here with me, afterall.

How 'if' and 'hope' plays a big role in my life.
Dreams. I wonder if they were real...

Reset

2011-07-12T14:47:00.002+08:00

I 'restarted' myself because you are doing so in my eyes. I don't want to be the one holding you back in your life anymore; no more limitations, no more questions, no more doubts, no more lies and no more mistrusts.

Like you once said; everything I do in fact pushes you to another.

At least you are happy. At least.

If I am wrong, then I will be the one who bears all consequences.

<3 BunBun.

Chapter One: The Beginning

2011-07-03T17:39:00.002+08:00

Every beginning has an end; and every end has a beginning. That is what they say, and that is how life goes. The only thing is; how do you take and cope the beginning and the end throughout life? Everyone takes it differently, everyone move on to a different period when they are done with one, and then never recollect the past. But as for me, I do not possess the ability to do so, or at least so soon in my point changes. I never adapted changes very well every single time life turns its directions.

Primary school, I had a sudden change of friends. Which is kinda hard to cope with too and furthermore it wasn't my decision to actually skipped a year of studies and advancing. Never have I wanted to leave nor proceed, I wanted my own pace in the things I do but it was not for me to decide during that time. In the end, I dwelved into a world of unknown people, but I managed to live through it. I managed to live through the bullying, the outcast and the lonely period. I thought I was done changing; but I was wrong.

Secondary school makes more sense in life. Maybe it was because I was a little more matured back then compared to when I was in primary; things weren't all so great either. I broke a heart, and then my heart got broken. I somewhat believed in karma after that; it made me realise that if you don't want something similiar happen to you, don't do it to others. I'm so sorry for breaking another's heart, and I am glad that my heart was broken so I would know how it feels.

Or so I thought.

Growing. Life is not all about kindness and chances. They are more of taking things away from you and replacing them with a new one; in terms of education, food diet, etc. It changes you, hardens you and taking you into a whole new world everytime you 'level up'.

What I want to write here are not explainations to the things I have done; but instead to the life that I have lived, that I feel I should read again one day and remember how much I missed. It may be nothing to the most of you, but to me it was something; and this something deserves its own story. It might be similiar with some people or differ to some others but all I would say is, if you want to continue reading then just read and not compare or judge anything; it is merely just a story.

This beginning: is not about the beginning of my life; it is the beginning of a relationship which I find, rather peculiar and unique. Abrupt and coincidental, special and normal. How things developed. how it changes the lives for the both of us. How we supported each other in a way that no one would ever understand. Here, the beginning was rather simple and blatant.

She was there, right before me. I was just doing my job, as a commitee member for a certain event here in my campus. I remember clearly; with her white outfit and a funky pink bandana, which captured my eye and questioned me. "Why in the world is someone standing here who is not even a commitee dressed like this?", I asked my friend, who was right beside me and she jeered at me and asked me to stop looking and drooling all over the floor. Which I did, with a whole lot of questions in my head that night.

The next day, on the day of the event, I was on duty guarding and administering a booth. There she was, again, with the same outfit and the same bandana on her head. This time, she was with a guy. I instantly felt that tinge of depression in me. I thought that the guy was her boyfriend.

The next following minutes, they were getting ready near the stage, with a directional mat ( the ones you see on the Dance Dance Revolution machines in arcades, but this one is portable ) and placing it on the floor. I was right, it was that Japanese dance game, and she was going to perform there near the stage, with her boyfriend; which she did and it was mind-blowing. They were playing the game, without even looking on the screen to know which directional buttons they should press and it certainly got all of us amazed, including myself. They danced to it as though as it was a routine, while on the mat itself which caught everyone's attention.

When it was over, everyone clapped. I looked at her; she was tired. The urge to offer her a bottle or a glass of water was there, but obviously I do not know her at all and doing so would make me a douchebag ( or rather a sweet douchebag, depends on how it would happen ). She and her boyfriend packed up and left right after, leaving me with more questions in my mind. I went around after they left to ask about the performance, then I learnt that the 'boyfriend' was no boyfriend at all, it was her own brother! A little glint of hope, I felt.

It was tedious and tiring. I had no idea who she was, what her name was and where she was from. I spent my time searching through Friendster, as Facebook didn't exist yet during those days. It took me quite some time, honestly, to finally find her on Friendster. She had the most unique name I have ever heard or read of in my entire life. Without any hesitation, I messaged her; or rather, smiled at her as what Friendster called it back then.

"hey r u the one in GACC two years ago (or maybe, recently) did that superb dance dance revolution game with your brother or something like that? "

She then replied me.

"yes, it was me! were u there as well?"

Hell yes I was. Well, that was the first time I actually talked to her. The beginning of something far larger than I could have imagined to myself. A memory.

Random Rumble that I will Ignore.

2011-06-26T01:56:00.003+08:00

There are things that you claim I assume, yet with my own very eyes it happens. Don't pretend all around things are what they are not for the world to see. I learnt that the hard way once upon a time. Living on with life and living on with life, dating; is two separate things to be considered. YOU, of all people should know it better. But then again, with the past flaws and the past arguements, it'll add up with the distance and the cover ups. Yet you fail to see how much this is making things bad for the both of us. Yet you want time, but time to live life is not considered as time to date others, correct me if I'm wrong. I do not know the wants and the needs of you anymore, and I would rather stop myself from being the roadblock to your 'life', as what happened to me thanks to 'life'. Again, YOU of all people should know better. Fame and fortune will end one day, and I sure do hope as hell that when that day comes you will know how much you've been missing on.

Thoughts.

2011-03-11T14:46:00.003+08:00

I wonder.

If we were still good.

If you did not lose your heart.

If there was nobody else except me.

If you stayed true.

If you were there beside me always when I needed you most.

What will be my outcome today?

What will us be?

Funny how things develop now.

Mysm =(

2011-01-15T10:14:00.002+08:00

Miss you so much =( ?

Well this is not what I would say now. I certainly didn't say 'mysm =(' to anybody. =)

Check a certain wallpost in facebook to be sure! Why did I do that in the first place? =/

Well I'm better off. I have to be. I have to.

mysm? much you sad, miss. It'll make you sad.

Just saying.

2011-01-14T02:53:00.001+08:00

Alvis Kong, I'm curious on how you have the balls to jump off a building. I haz vertigo. Can I un-vertigo myself? :/ Then it'll make things easier to bear.

Fuck.
My.
Life.

=)

It'll certainly make me sleep proper at night, I can assure you.

Sorrow

2011-01-13T13:15:00.003+08:00

If god were to kill me right now I'd be happy for the rest of my life. No more FYP, no more assignments and no more feelings.

Sandra, I've failed you.
Please tell me what to do.
I don't know where to go now.

I'd like to be free too.

KCUF

2011-01-11T15:36:00.002+08:00

I want to hate and murder so much right now. I feel like doing so. I was never at the top of your list. Knowing that, still I kept my stance and I marched on to my death. Should've seen it coming. I felt that it was never about me.

=) May all be well the next few months.

A beautiful flower will always attract bees; a bee will never be King.
As the tides turn then you shall see the true wonders of a certain, working bee.

Paramore wrote in one of their songs; "That's what you get when you let your heart win".

P.S.: please don't ask because I do not wish to tell. =)

Free.

2011-01-09T18:32:00.002+08:00

You are. =) Happy, I'm not. =(

But nevertheless, you'd be happier now right? Life goes on as per normal to you. But never to me..

Until the time when you realise everything was a mistake then it might just be too late. But what the hell, the problem has always been with me, not you.

So for now, goodbye.

Treasures, to me, are to be bought; never to be stumbled upon.

ASS, MID LIFE.

2011-01-09T01:15:00.003+08:00

Assignments, midterms, life.

:) happy happy joy joy. I got myself an apple product and sold my soul to the devil. Therefore I'm no longer eating right as my budget has been cut. Man that sucks. :/

At least I know why I'm getting it for:
1. Peer pressure elimination. Everywhere you go you'll see somebody holding one, or at least holding something that looks like one so I guess getting it will make you like one of them. I know it's a stupid reason but it's a reason nonetheless HAHA!

2. Emo-spending. Getting something to be happy of makes you less miserable with your life, I guess?

3. Experimental testing. I want to know, what happens if I eventually get one. Since I've been looking at people texting away so easily so maybe if I get one I'd be the one texting away easily. Sadly this part here is still a failure. I got less texts. But all is 'well'.

4. Parents-know-you-die situation awareness. I'm now living a double-life, potato outside, apple inside.

That's all I guess, if I survive number 4, meaning I'm going to be a little bit burden-less. XD

Not that I have nothing else to be burdened about. :(

Damn. Whatsapp anyone?

Smile!

2011-01-03T03:03:00.002+08:00

Smile with your heart and you'll feel better.

Smile broadly and make the world a happy place.

Smile, just.... smile.

=) =D

You're doing fine !

Nyawa-nyawa ikan.

2010-12-31T02:00:00.003+08:00

Wahai budak-budak nakal yang baca blog ini sekalian, saya ingin mengucapkan terima kasih kepada sesiapa yang telah pertama sekali menjumpai dan menyedari yang blog ini telah dihidupkan semula.

Screw that sh*t. LOL. Yes I'm emo but I'm alright, won't pull off the "kill myself by jumping down a building" kinda crap, if I wanna kill myself I'll do it in style. Haha. Maybe, driving around with a sports car carrying a machine gun after parachuting into the car, before that sky-diving my way through flak cannons and survive bailing out from a fighter jet. :D

Or maybe I'll go clean with the shotgun-point-head-bang style.

Anyway, Happy New Year!

Bet next year's gonna be a 'blast'.

My new year's resolution: =)

What's yours?

Secure?

2010-12-28T23:51:00.001+08:00

Nope.

Immense frustration.
Intense pain.
Unimaginable circumstances.

Comes to a Shattered heart.

Zachemo.

2010-12-28T17:05:00.003+08:00

Why do people still tend to go out with other people when they already have somebody at home loving them? Maybe they're bored of them, or maybe it's just logic: Tiger Woods does it, why not you? Thus, there you are excluding lust from your heart while you see lust right infront of you from an angle you don't want it to be. Weirdly so, maybe things happen and are done for a reason, and the reason you may not know well but brutally executed just to show you how much your heart can handle. My heart can't handle it, mind you.

Funny. How I turn to writing to express myself rather than to just express myself to the problem at hand. I for one hate changes, no idea why. Changes come in forms: good change makes your world go round, bad change makes you piss your pants and the in-between change that sometimes will tend to screw up your life either in a bad or worse conditions. At least that's how I picture it. I'm having the in-between change, not-so-easy yet not-so-hard to endure. Okay scratch the last part that's total bullsh*t. It's hard alright.

Though, as ill-fated as you may be, things will always repeat itself. That is where people say "history repeats itself" and starts comparing the future and the past.

Just try not to be emotional about it, I suppose? But no, you can't. :/

I can't. I'm emo. Zachemo. Darn it. Wake up and stop burning yourself.

Self-pity and self-realization.

2010-12-28T04:10:00.006+08:00

It's late and it's dark. Though I may have been in a better state, I still have to say that I feel kinda.... off key lately. For so long now I have been in a deep slumber and I feel bad against my abandoned blog. Therefore I am back here, with a new post on a new day oncoming a new year.

I for one have a thought on the matters regarding myself. I maybe a person whom might give a whole lot of allowance to people whom I care about, say, leniency. At least I think I am. Then again, I might be wrong and I am making a fool of myself here on this page stating myself as a person who thinks highly of himself. Which is wrong. I do not do so. I feel low, in fact; so low that I actually crave for things that are out of my reach and yet clinging on to the facts that it might happen, one day. For example: getting myself an Iphone 4. Damn that device and it's peer pressure effect.

This darn apple.

Though, I think on matters regarding love, I fail completely in terms of giving up. I'm in love and I'm not afraid to say it. I'm in love with a perfect person and I'm not afraid to say it right here, right now within the confines of my room with a netbook. For I am not a perfect person to start of with, I am also not a person who will entertain secrets kept apart from me and take no for lies. I am for what I am and I hope that you'd agree with me and not go against it. To me, personally, I would understand or make myself understand everything that will be thrown at me if only from the start there are nothing to be barred from. To me, why hide things when you're already in a relationship? They only mare the existance of it and not re-kin them. Love to me, is a bliss where nothing should impede; including lies. I would for one do the same if the situation is reversed, as I feel you have the right to know with no holds barred.

I am proud of what I have, regardless. I am proud of everything I've done so far and proud of many, many other things that are not my achievement to say. I am proud of the fact that I stood there with you during the year climbing up the rocky hills. I am glad that we're here, after so long, after everything that have been said and done. I am glad that I love you with all my heart. With a new year coming and a new life ahead upon graduation, my resolution for year 2011 is to re-live every moment I had for the past 21 years of my life.

That is all the ramblings I have for now. I guess. =/

You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.. please stay that way :)
Just the way you are, said Bruno Mars.
M <3

Happy Birthday, you.

2010-05-28T18:09:00.002+08:00

Hope you liked all the plans that's been done.

First Valentine's, Chinese style

2010-02-14T18:29:00.002+08:00

Hi there.

I guess I've been missing for awhile in my blog. I gotta say, there were times where I wanted really bad to post up something but laziness overwhelms and thus I ended up doing something else instead.

Today's the first day of Chinese New Year. I'm back home right now from all the commotion and what-so-ever, where I had to walk a lot. Woke up as early as 9 a.m. to go to my grandparent's place, where I slept at 4 in the morning yesterday because of a friend who called me in the middle of the night/morning to tell me his car has broken down! Amo with his two 'amoh' friends, both Germans whom I fetched back home with him. So technically this is how I started my Chinese New Year celebration:

Supernatural series -> a game of DotA -> pushed a car -> slept for 4 hours plus -> met Adrian at the temple -> met CS at my grandma's neighbour's place =.= (this is unexpected, seriously) -> met my Singaporean aunt who's about 2 years older than me (I think) -> back home now, after bathing, still feeling hot like crap thanks to the weather, blogging before going for dinner

Just in case you want to know what's going on today, that's about it I guess.

Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day to all the couples I know out there. :) You're doing great, so keep it up alright? I always keep this in mind:

1. If I'm single:- there's always somebody perfect for you out there, you just gotta wait patiently for the right time to act. Don't be too cheezy( though I admit I am), often remember chivalry and act normal, like yourself.

2. If I'm NOT single:- there are times when you're gonna have ups and downs, just make sure your boat doesn't sink during the process. You only get one chance in your life with that person, so do not screw up, REAL BAD. If you're two-timing then look in the mirror and screw yourself hard because you're breaking two hearts at the same time.

Well that's about it, on what I can think about Valentine's Day.

I miss Coconut House. I miss you.

I love you.I'd like to wish you Happy Valentine's Day, HunHun.

I guess it's time for me to go now before my mom hacks me to death for being on the computer instead of getting ready. Bye! Happy Chinese New Valentine's Year Day! :D

P.S. : I'm sorry it withered. :( But it did.

A letter to a friend of mine.

2010-01-13T21:16:00.006+08:00

Dear Sandra,

It was just yesterday that I met you in Jusco, with your pink coloured belt-thing-a-ma-jig, that you tried to keep it hidden but obvious to everyone. You greeted me by commenting about my hair, saying how short it is now compared to the last time you've seen me; and how you hated the hairstyle yet again. You looked shocked, looking at me with my ice cream in hand. But, it makes me wonder why when I asked "what are you doing here?" and you replied "I don't know".

I still remember the day when I was at your place, how we talked about all the things that we're not really supposed to. How you would always remind me how lucky I am, while I would deny it and say you were in a better condition. Then you would scold me by calling me dumbo or stupid. But now, I wouldn't have a person who would nudge me on MSN just to call me NeNePot (or your style of saying which is 'nnp').

I of course remember the time when I was in KL, how you, together with us walked from your house in KL to the bus stop. We shopped like crazy (correction, you did the shopping, not me) and how we shared our food scarcely, in Tony Roma's. You loved Manhattan Fish Market so much that you licked the plate clean. You walked so much, till you were wearing that weird-looking fur boots while you shopped in Topshop. Yeah not to forget, you got your death-ride from a friend of mine who forgot his AAR ticket and had to turn back home to get it. But, you kept quiet, not a single mutter of anger or disappointment. Instead, you went on marching right till the concert starts, where I felt so bad at that point. I'm sorry, Sandra. I'm so sorry for being a burden that day.

I'm really glad that I was able to celebrate your 21st birthday with you; that I was one of the "important guest" who got invited to your awesome BBQ party. Really. I'm glad I went. I still remember how you would constantly ask if I'm feeling comfortable or not, where my replies are always accompanied by food in my mouth. Especially fried chicken. Or your awesome jelly that's looks like a normal jelly pudding except it's not really like jelly.

For all the badminton times, how you would just call me 2 hours before the time we're supposed to play. I really wish right now that I could go for badminton with you, maybe for just one more time. You can show me your weird legs and hands and bones again. You can remind me not to smash the shuttlecock again. You can 'chia' me 100 Plus again. Would you?

I will always, ALWAYS, cherish the gift you got me for my birthday. I promise, I'm gonna read it till the end and hope I can follow some of the advices given there. Yes, I do need the book. Thank you again, Sandra, for that. I'll never forget and stop appreciating.

Oh, and I wanna ask you why; why did you leave so soon? Why did you? I'm denying all the facts therefore I'm writing this to you so you would visit here and comment on my post. But I guess I'm just putting my hopes real high. I'll never stop hoping though, Sandy, for you're one of the best-est friend I've ever had. Take care, there. I'm gonna meet you there someday and when that day comes, I'm telling you all my stories and you tell me all about yours and we'll eat whatever you like, while talking till we flip ourselves. Goodbye for now, Sandra. =)

Your NNP friend,
Z.

It's the end...

2010-01-06T16:24:00.002+08:00

...... of 2009.

What the hell. I can still remember everything that happened throughout the year, and...

bah. forget it.

New year.

2009-12-27T16:56:00.004+08:00

Love

yay for me!

2009-12-27T16:27:00.002+08:00

Hey. I'm a childish, coward guy who loves to make stupid acts that make people sad.

I'm sorry. :(

I really am...

Yes I'm emo and my hair plays it's part. No I'm not going for the RM40 haircut againnnnnn... But later la my haircut, grandparents nagging non stop which makes my parents nag non stop as well.

But i'm still smiling.

2009-12-26T18:29:00.001+08:00

fuck.

Something to remind me of the days

2009-12-26T17:05:00.005+08:00

It pains me to see that it won't be up anytime soon. Probably never again.

It hurts me so much every time I think about it, though I hope it will go away; this nightmare of mine.

See through my eyes to know the pain hiding beneath.

If you are still out there, come home. I missed you so; words can barely describe how I feel.

Make me smile once more; or like I have never been before. Show me, what is the truth and what is not.

Before the clock strikes 12; before the bell sounds its last ring, come home.

I'm waiting..

20th on the 20th and 14th on the 21st.

2009-12-22T02:24:00.003+08:00

And I'm posting this on the 22nd.........
Damn.

Anyway,

*ahem*
Hey YOU.

I'm just gonna post this here as a reminder to US.

We're both just back from a trip.

14th, and it's going stronger than ever! :)
Though I bet you forgot, mi rite? =P <------------- see I used this again!! *oh oh...*
But nevertheless, I'm happy. Very. Happy.
What about you?

Oh and another thing..
Thank you for the mini cheese cake.
You made my 20th on my 20th a blast, ya know?
Especially with the basket toss nyahahahaha!! Which finally I got to witness its awesomeness.

Oh well,
Time to study.
That goes to you too. :)
Jia you right back at ya!
And to whoever it may concern LOL!

2009-12-11T14:27:00.002+08:00

" Erase thyself from the face of the earth, to save a soul that's far greater than thyself.

If thou hearts, then thou art to leave.

Romance is a distant thing on this road of death. "

CAPSFORTHEWIN

2009-12-09T03:25:00.004+08:00

OF ALL THE THINGS TO SCREW UP ABOUT.

OH WELL MY PHONE IS GONE. YAY!

F**K THIS.

TALKING IN CAPS IS GOOD.

FOR ANGER MANAGEMENT THAT IS.

Yeah, it was me.
To be honest, I'm really really sorry.
You did well and I can tell everyone is proud of you regardless of what not.

emaL s'tI wonK I

2009-11-23T16:34:00.004+08:00

.....tuB

uoY sevoL yrahcaZ

.tolA

2009-11-23T04:22:00.004+08:00

Am I looking for a star that doesn't shine?

It used to be rather bright.
But now it died.

Or is it not the time for it to shine yet again?
Please... do shine like you used to.

I waited till I fell asleep.
Now here I am up again 4 in the morning.

Tears, a bucket.
Sorrow, a day.

Hey.

2009-11-21T00:10:00.003+08:00

Hey you.

It's past 12 now.

Though, when you're reading this, I might be already asleep or still sleeping.
We've just reached 13. Which is exactly past 12 when I'm posting it after 12a.m. now.

<3 M.

A poem for the heart

2009-11-18T17:08:00.003+08:00

I took your hand,
knowing it will be alright.
I held my breath,
every time when you're next to me.
I even skipped a heartbeat,
when you whispered those words unconditionally.

I remember when we first held hands.
They were warm and they filled me up with butterflies.
Oh,
how can I forget?
When you dragged me away to a corner
just so you can say how much I meant to you.

We would spend time in the park,
telling each other stories.
Even with the pressure,
we held on tightly.

Why?
I would ask.
I love you.
That's what you answered.

But the cold breeze came.
Erasing everything out.
Separated.
Disappeared.

Now..
It changed.

Why?
You asked.
I love you.
That's what I'll say as long as I'm still breathing.

But it's all in the shadows.
Secret love.
Silent love.
Love.

2009-11-17T02:52:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, attention is needed.
You just have to know when to give and when not to give.

Sometimes, care is needed.
You just have to tell when to care and when not to.

I should learn from it.
Deja vu sucks, at times.
Because it lets you feel fear when there's nothing to fear about.

Lots of E, M, and O.

2009-11-16T23:16:00.004+08:00

I've something that's been bugging me lately.

I have trouble sleeping at night.

See, there's this thing... with the pillows and the weather all so cozy.
I'm afraid that when I close my eyes, I won't wake up. But but but... I can't shut my eyes.

Well, that's because IT'S BEEN RAINING EVERYDAY BUT I'M LOVING IT! (minus the times when I had to walk to campus in the rain)

When it rains I tend to go to bed at 7pm and wake up at 11pm then can't sleep at all till 3am approximately. Fun cycle eh?

And so with nothing better to do.....
I get emo. :( :(

After an hour, more emo.

Add 3 hours to the count, imagine what 'emo' means to me? :D

Now here I am, reading notes for my midterm this Thursday. :( emo.

Oh THAT big thing, It's SOMETHING alright. :D

Tak boleh tidur, belajar la apa lagi? (ataupun DotA XD)

Dusty Remains of the Bat.

2009-11-15T14:47:00.004+08:00

Whoa, how long have I abandoned this blog? Well since I have nothing better to do today, other than to study for my mid term which is this Thursday so I'll blog.

Where to start?
Okay, I was just back from a one day trip to Ipoh. In a van. Legs were folded like paper cranes. Though, I was happy enough to go. To be able to see live was awesome, you. :D

My father got into an accident and ruptured his knee cap. So now he's at home 24-7 with a huge-@ss cast on his left leg.

I can't wait for a few more days. I really can't! Cuz cuz cuz..... there's something 'big' that's gonna happen!! Hey you, wait for it!

There are TONS of games for me to play. I can't wait to get my hands on them. Where's my rechargeable battery charger?? I need em! It's for the controllers!

Went to the All American Rejects concert the other day. Thanks to Sandra who contributed with the tickets and the stay. *I still feel bad okay? :( * and also to Kayshaan, for fetching around KL. :D Come Malacca and I'll bring you for cendol as promised. hahaha! Lastly thank you, YOU, for accompanying me.

Had a RM42 haircut. =.=" no comment.

Watched 2012 when it was out on Thursday. It made me think on how am I gonna spend my life if the world is really ending soon.

There's so much to do with so little time. What if the world ended as predicted by the Mayans? That's like 3 more years! :(

So maybe, I thought....

Let's write something to tell what I should say before the world actually ends.

I'll make it as short as possible.

It's.

I.

I can't live without you.
Because two is better than one.

Today,

2009-10-19T13:39:00.007+08:00

I blast songs.
I sing along.
I take a piss,
then I'll go to bed at 2p.m.

Lets skip lunch.
I'm protesting against myself.

I finally know.
I'm living in a nightmare that is worse than the one i dreamed about.

New Layout?

2009-10-15T19:16:00.002+08:00

Finally.

I've changed the layout of my blog. Though it's still in a state where posts are so rare, it's now dumber than ever.

Just reformatted my computer as well, so it's now so smooth even a baby's buttocks can't beat it's silkiness. :D

So, anybody up for a game? XD

Missing from the world

2009-10-06T23:45:00.001+08:00

The reason I am not myself is because I am stressed.

'nuff said. :(

8th of October, please come soon.

A letter from me to YOU.

2009-09-21T12:19:00.004+08:00

To: YOU

I've never missed a post on this.

I've never failed to remember what day it was. I've never failed to remind you what day it was too, even when you might seem to forget all the time. :)

But one thing's for sure, 11 is the number this time.

Each number '1' represents both you and I, where two of the same number becomes a whole new number.

Though, when the next one comes, it's gonna be 1. But this '1' will be a meaningful 1.

When that day comes, I hope you'll be there by my side and remind me instead. =)

Sincerely by,
Yours, with a whole-lotta love,

BunBun
X.O.X.O.

21st of September 2009.

Proud.

2009-09-17T15:17:00.006+08:00

Being not able to doesn't mean you can't.

If you're not like them, so be it. It's best to be just yourself.

So don't be down for the reasons which are not in your hands. You're still perfectly fine and to me, you're better than the rest.

At least you tried, rather than backing out in the first place. You were brave enough to accept the consequences and that requires a lot of courage. You were brave enough to be different in a sea of 'different' people.

That doesn't mean you're not special, at all. You still are. You still rock everyone's world with every single thing you do. So cheer up, You.

No matter what, I'm so very proud of you for even being able to be there.

You know who you are, for this post is for you.

Smile. Love.

Update Downdate.

2009-09-03T01:52:00.006+08:00

People say that my posts are hard to understand. Some even claim that it's boring because I have not been updating for quite sometime now.

*you guys know who you are*

Well, I'm gonna try real hard to blog, gotta like catch up on so many posts that are like freaking outdated and backwards already; like when i talk about them now those involved would go like:

"We did that? You sure or not? You must be dreaming-lah!"

Oooookayyyy, now let's make a list of what should I blog about everyday/week now. Cause' without planning it'll just be the same.. where I will be: Lazy!

First;

Port Dickson Camping Crew.
- Damn, this is outdated. Steamer Crew.

Second;

Tenji!
- Heaven, on Earth. Coconut free flow???

Third;

X-ray.
- I see pelvis and vertebra.

Fourth;

- .......... uhh~............ screw it.

I'll settle with these first. There were loads more to blog about and sadly, I can't even remember what it was anymore. XD So, this is gonna be my to-blog list.

Alright, starting from tomorrow I'll start working on my first post, on my camping trip to Port Dickson. See, it's my second time there already! The first was... ahem, I'll save it for the post then.

So, conclusion. I will blog-lah, but it takes time-lah. T-T

Got ball?

10th!

2009-08-21T22:27:00.004+08:00

10th!

I'm using all of my fingers to count!

I'm saying it with ease because I know deep in my heart that I L.O.V.E. you!

Now now, you know I won't miss it!

A post I mean......
for you.

The longer it gets... I hope;
it'll be better!

:D I won't miss it even for the world.
Happy 10th, yet again!

2009-08-04T19:30:00.002+08:00

Stab me with a knife.

Cut me with a blade.

Burn me.

For all I care...

It's meaningless.

The pain's far worse than those.

I want to get lost.

Brownie =(

2009-08-02T00:25:00.008+08:00

A few hours ago, I witnessed Death.

Right in front of my eyes, I see a poor, helpless dog lying on the road in front of my house (not directly, a lil' to the right) during it's last hours.

The dog was....... jerking, in pain that none can imagine, as life seeps through him.

The poor fella was indeed poisoned. According to my dad; "He ate something then 'plop' on the road, should be kena poisoned". He diagnosed on the spot. My mom said "eh eh eh Zac see that dog! Luckily my Cookie or Rusty never kena like that". She said, on the spot. XD

I said,

Dayummmnnnnn THAT'S NASTYYYY!

No pictures though.

Pity ol' uhh.... Brownie. May you rest in peace. Though you died a horrible death, may you be happy in Dog Heaven. Say hi to Dino for me will ya?

*Dino was my grandmother's doggy, a white coloured menace. Fierce and hates me a lot. Passed away quite sometime ago, when I was still in primary school.*

It's still in my mind.... *twitches* Brownie.

Sorry..... :(

Holssssssss.

2009-08-01T20:57:00.003+08:00

HolyDays!

Lets see.. What can I do during this one-week-long holiday?
I guess I'll stay at home and read some books that my sis' borrowed me, titled Airman or something like that. Bout' some kid flying, something like that. Meh.

I'll play dead at home with my dog, then when he comes close I jump! It's fun scaring the crap outta him XD (yes yes I'm cruel, SOMETIMES! But I do love dear Cookie XD)

Not to forget I still have that fracking assignment to complete. Gotta design a fishing reel using a program called Catia that's a pain in the A.S.S.

Well recently I've read this book titled '10 things to do before you die', which I find it kinda cool. Imagine that you know that you're dying in 24 hours and you have a list of things that you need to do before you hit the sack, what will YOU do? So, I've made a list of mine that I think I'd want to complete before I'm gone.

10 things to do before I cuckoo.

1. Tell everyone that I care about how much I love them and spend some time with them.
2. Go to Rome.
3. Eat the BEST food in the world.
4. Bomb the Malaysian government headquarters.
5. Use some kind of big-ass firearm, like a bazooka or something and blow something up. XD
6. Bungee jump off the Petronas twin towers.
7. Meet Megan Fox and find out whether she's a he or uhh, not?
8. Fly a fighter jet.
9. Rob a bank and spend all of the cash buying a car, then drive around town in a police pursuit.
10. Get back to the people I hate and beat the shit outta them.

Well that's about it! hahahahaha! Though some are really impossible to do and some are like even more ridiculous. But what the hell, I want to dream! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE, I believe. But honestly I don't think 24 hours would be sufficient to complete all of those stated. XD

Well at least I'm not lazy enough to blog...... right?

I must be bored. -.-

It's a cold night, without you.

9 past 8, it's gonna be MIDNIGHT.

2009-07-20T21:28:00.007+08:00

It's already 9 past 8. No matter how you look into the past, you can't stop wondering how far we've gone along the bumpy road and how much we've been through.

There was once when I was down, a long long time ago. I still remember clearly how you would joke with me to cheer me up. When I was alone, you would agree to accompany me for lunch, having chicken rice for the first time in campus a long, long time ago.

Today, you're still the same person I knew about a year ago. The one ever so cheerful, the one who eats really neatly all the time, the one whom makes disgusting concoctions after a meal. Remember the time when you mixed your drink with tomato sauce? You're still the One I love. Only that you're more B.E.A.U-tiful than ever! XD

cuter than ever
more 'garang' than ever =P
even more a better dancer than everrrrrr~ (roti canai and teh tarik!)
and...... you know I know that you do more than EVER!

There's this once when you asked me how do I find you to be attractive.

My answer is:

How can you not fall in love with an angel in disguise? =D
(picture taken from her though XD)

Now would you look at that 'halo'?

You are my angel.
and that's that!

Much love.........

Hugs!

and kisses.

ZachaLyn.

I'll always be right by your side, no matter rain or shine.
You're always in my heart.
Always.

Love,
Z

Smile!

2009-07-08T13:20:00.006+08:00

There's nothing you can do.
So just keep it together and live with it.
It doesn't matter what you think, the most important thing is that you make others smile.
But reassurance does come in handy sometimes.
The only catch is that it comes with a price.
So just look up and think of nothing else;
instead, smile, as broadly as you can.
It will be better.

What a SMOKING death.

2009-06-26T10:58:00.010+08:00

The world lost a great icon.

Eminem has lost part of his song lyrics.

People around will forever miss 'the king', the one-and-only......

Michael Jackson.

The legend who ~~created~~ popularized the 'moonwalk' and sang great songs like Thriller and Beat It. How could you not claim him as a legend when he contributed so much to the entertainment industry? Minus the changes in himself, he still rocks as a celebrity and will forever be known as the King of Pop.

He succumbed to cardiac arrest on 25th of June 2009 in Los Angeles. I was shocked to hear what Marilyn had said, and not believing at first because it could be a ruse created by many. But when I went online and checked, it certainly was true. Well, people come and people go, but the memories remain.

Regarding another matter, Dynamix won!!! They smoked the other 10 groups who participated in Station 3's Freestyle Dancing Competition with style. It was a long and tiring competition for them, as they had to prepare for it every night beforehand. Now, you guys are champions and you guys have free DJ lessons!!! Hahahaha! Earn 18k per month you know ( if you don't drink liquor), according to that Datuk who was once a DJ in places like Hong Kong, London and Beijing for 9 years. Maybe USD6500 was his net pay for 9 years. LOL!

Not to forget, their outift this time was rather... shiny! Haha!

******shirt****** <-----sparkles

And yes like what Amo said, you do look cute with that glitter. Wait, not cute, but B-E-A-U-tiful!!

Not to forget, I got back home at 6 in the morning and got the lecture of the lifetime from my mom. I do regret coming back home so late and getting her worried, but I did not regret going for it. It was epic! Sorry mommy, but I will never come back home at 6 anymore, without permission. :(

Woke up early intending to go to class, but instead got to know that I don't have classes for today. Yippie, but boo-hoo, I've not had my proper sleep yet. Gotta get get to bed.

Nights!

I'm still feeling bad! Chowie... But I'll make it up to you, in a way. You'll see! ^^

I've waited 8 months to say this.

2009-06-21T04:54:00.001+08:00

There's only 1 thing in my mind when I asked you to be mine.

"Make her happy!".

Yes. Making you happy and looking at that smile of yours that makes my day. That smile of yours you've shown me when I practically opened the car door from the inside and you find that funny. That same person who ate Korean food with pure joy, not leaving a single bit left behind.

The same person who took a ride on the Eye On Malaysia with me, first getting frightened over it then in the end smiled broadly at the scenery.

The one who thanked me with that same smile when I managed to get her brother's present at another shop outlet in town.

Smiling when we strolled along the streets of KL with Haagen Daz ice cream in hand, without any fear. That smile, that everlasting smile where you cannot buy even if you're the richest person in the world right now.

It's funny, how with just one smile at the start that it managed to capture my heart.

I must be one heck-of-a lucky guy, to have even met her in the first place. I need to keep that smile going, I need to sustain the one thing that makes me happy to look at;

Your smile.

So smile with this, when you read and you remember. We're now officially 8 months together.

The chinese say it's lucky with that number. Well, I damn-right agree! I'm lucky enough to be with you!

There's this thing called L.O.V.E.

2009-06-20T12:44:00.004+08:00

Imagine the pain of not being able to do anything.

All you wanted was to prove yourself worthy.
But it all changed with that. It changed.
The more you stress on it, the more tense it'll get.
Times like these, you will notice that you need it more than anything else.
You will not have enough willpower to combat your own feelings.

You need something that can support you through rough times, not bury you with more.
Something that makes you feel better, not worse.

People call it love. I call it...
rather something else.

It's not an item. It's more than you can ever imagine.
The pains erased, the heart healed.
Things gets brighter even the darkest of hours.......
with the never ending support and trust.

How can you expect more, when you already have the best?
I have, in fact, the best-est amongst the best.....
and I love her.
With all my heart.

The drought has ended! Amagawds!!

2009-06-12T23:08:00.011+08:00

I've been neglecting my blog for quite sometime now.. but I'm back up and running and here you go,

Updates!

A lot has happened since i last blogged, whew~ Truth is, I was lazy and lazy is bad..... There was this day where I just slept throughout the day, skipping breakfast and lunch. Also, there was this once where I played my uncle's Xbox the whole day trying to beat a game. All these lame acts are caused by insufficient holidays provided by bloody-good-for-nothing Multimedia University.

2 weeks. 2 weeks were all I had after 4 months plus, and a special 2-week exam period. HELL YEAH!

This aside, I've some things to say here.

1st things 1st.. Birthday wish.

To Ooi Beng Hooi a.k.a. Ah Beng maut. Finally, you're able to celebrate your birthday with us eh? hahahaha! Though this time you got 'bukake-ed' madly, and in the end you looked like you just travel through time from olden China. -.-

Creaming process, by Mr. Creamer.

The aftermath.

Okay.

Nothing much happened on my holidays, unlike last semester's where I went to Pulau Redang (OMG OMG REDANG!!). Most of the time, I was at home.

What I did :-

Went for swimming (I know nuts about swimming, tenggelam can lah) and got free lessons from 5 instructors simulteneously.
Tried on a machine called Pump It Up, a dance machine like Dance Dance Revolution and had fun! But if you can beat Marilyn's brother, Justin then I'd treat you dinner cause' it seems he has 8 legs that comes with 2 bonus feet which makes it 10 feet-s on a 5-pad machine. Seriously. *salute*
Went for various movies from time to time, all I can say is Terminator was a disappointment and Monsters vs. Aliens rocks!
Chopped tree branches at my grandparents place. Yes, I had to climb a ladder and saw it off manually. How I wished I had a chainsaw with me at that point.
Went karaoke at the Jetty, to celebrate one of Marilyn's friend's birthday there and crammed my head with chinese songs all the way. But it was really cool, no joke. Ah Sot, Happy Birthday again! *though i highy doubt you'll ever read this*
Had a haircut that made me look like a girl for a moment, then an ah beng at the end.
Laughed my arse off at my dog's haircut. He went from fluffy to fugly.
Went to Holiday Inn's swimming pool at night but did not swim there, instead camwhored (yes camwhored) there and got a bonus zombie picture. Oh not to forget, we nearly got locked away there. -.-"
I don't know what else because I probably can't remember. >.<

Anyway....
Back to birthday topic.

This time, Marilyn's birthday. *drum rolls*

It did went out well.

I'm glad to know that you really liked your present.

At first, there was numerous doubts on whether to get it or not. There's the budget problem; what if I couldn't find enough people to share for the present? Or maybe, what if she gets mad when I get that for her? Or rather, what if she rejects it in front of my face? I'd go from o.O to T_T then mati.

Honestly, it was hard. It was hard to find the number of people who wants to share a costly present, not to mention the amount that they would agree to pay for. Luckily there are friends of hers who are willing enough to collect on behalf of me,which is Yang Tze and I thank you! Not to forget you, Chandni! Wait wait why all the hassle, lemme just copy THIS from Marilyn's bloggie and paste it here!

Thank You:

Justin Leo <----- important 'key' (he was the 'access card')
Chandni
Troy
Geraldine
Wee Kiat aka Chicken Satay
Sha
Aj
Tai Heng
Aaron Leo
Yang
Sam
Yvonne
Sarah Alicia
Mei Yi
Kayshaan
Mei Huey
Kay
Izza
Daniel
Celine
Fang Min
Min Rong
Jordan
Chun Aun
Yeh Han
Mau Mau
Sha Nisse
Jenn Yi
Shin Yee
Kumu
Natalie
Yuen Chuan aka Apek
William
Heng Chang
Eik Chun aka Eggy
Ren Zong
Sha Lotte
Eddy Izuwan
anonymous(can't read your signature too)
anonymous(can't read your signature too)

And all the others who have helped along the way.
I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart because without you guys I wouldn't even dreamed of accomplishing this feat.

Now that's done. On to the part of the celebration.

Well guess what, we went for CS. -.- and I sucked so bad in CS, I got creamed by the likes of Marilyn's awesome sniping and Jordan's bomb throwings, plus Noobie not being noob. T_T HAHAHAHA! I really hoped that everyone enjoyed themselves that night and on the surprise thingy as well. :) All of you made it more ' gempak'-lah! There I've said it!

All in all, I still do have some regrets for certain parts of the planS (<--- see the 's') that went a little off. Like the dressing that night or maybe the cake spoiler. So do forgive me for part of the flaws and mistakes.. XD

Picture of the present:

There was a debate on the camera, on the model. But finally picked out this babeh right here.

Picture of the birthday girl:

OOOO~~~!!

Picture of the group:

Some of the people who made it happen......

........ and the rest of them. THANK YOU!

Picture for the WIN!:

Now this is what you call fraggin' without mercy, or rather just having the joy of killing.

Well....

There goes nothin'! :D

It's been such a long, drastic week. But in the end, I know that everything's going to be alright.

'Cause if not, then I can't imagine life as it is.

'Cause without it, life is not what it is.

Love.

Sincerity is what I have.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYNNIE!!!

2009-05-22T01:44:00.006+08:00

This is your first birthday where I'm actually celebrating with you.

This is my first birthday post for you.

This is one of the first that I'm directly posting a blog about you!

And I'm damn happy to just know that fact!
(I hope I'm the first to blog about this too!)

Happy Birthday again,

MARILYN LEO MAY YIN

Trust me, after the exams THEN you'll be amazed.

*First picture in my blog too!*

Damn exams, if not it'll be better than anything. T-T

Plus, it's already Seven. The next Seven is coming in Six's time.

7!!
7!!!
7!!!

Opps... Terbalik!!

Hoped that you were surprised enough! :) <3

4 days to 7, 5 days to 18, 10 days to 14 and 11 days to infinity.

2009-05-17T00:39:00.005+08:00

Its coming. I can smell it.

The sheer pressure, the stress.. the tons of papers wasted on questions that are as tough as a coconut shell. Yeah, exams. I can't wait.

For it to end.

Five papers. That's all it takes for me to cramp up so many equations and words that can kill an elephant if it knows how to read.

10 days left.

Then my life would be usual again, with the constant sleeping and eating and sleeping!

Then I can celebrate and give you the best.

Trust me, it'll be one where you'll remember it long enough. :D But do tell, what did I say long time ago? I might be wrong in guessing! >.<

Good luck,
to all who are having the same luck as me; and lucky you for finishing earlier/later than me.

Oh not to mention, my dog, Cookie, got de-furred and now look like a poodle from once a puffy dog. Haha! Thanks to my mom who wants to keep his fur in shape, now he's shy and thinks that he's naked. @.@"

http://www.mycen.com.my/rescue/index.html

Now this, this is where you start saving lives of poor, helpless dogs. Imagine you being stranded there. Do click and check out; and know the horror they have suffered on an isolated island. Help them. Save them from their cruel 'prison'.

<3 I know you get what I mean with the title. :P

Hey! Care for a drink?

2009-05-12T02:14:00.006+08:00

Pick up lines.

People use it to, well, pick on people, so to say. There are a few to be noted out, and those select few sound a little more than just pick up lines.

Earlier, I was in the car when I heard the radio on Hitz.fm that they were talking about pick up lines. JJ said something like this:

Is your name Mickey? Cuz' you so fine, you blow my mind.

It was hilarious! Intending to know more, I googled, and I searched, and stumbled upon many.

Here it goes..

Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!
Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call fine print.
Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'.
Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
Hey, somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
Hi, I'm Batman. Wanna see my batmobile?
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
I have only three months to live.
I saw you, I had an asthma attack because you took my breath away.
If I could be anything I'd be a tear: Born in your eye, live on your cheek, and die at your lips.
If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be?
Is that baby oil on your forehead? Cause you shine like an angel.
Who's your daddy?
Your daddy must be a terrorist, because baby- you da bomb!
Your dad must have been retarded, 'cuz you are special.
Hey, I lost my phone number ... Can I have yours.

There are loads more! Haha! These are the ones that I think are funny! Please do not ever try to use these lines, unless you want to get a good tight slap. =D

Honestly, mother.

2009-05-10T23:12:00.006+08:00

The things moms would do out of love.

I find it simply amazing.

To be able to withstand so much, to be able to create so much, or rather give so much to their sons and daughters.

They give even when they don't. They love you even when they seem otherwise. They care for you all the time, not faltering even for a second.

Moms. Cherish them. They gave you life and nothing can be equal to that.

It hurts them when they are sent to old folks home. It pains them to see you being someone you shouldn't. It tortures them when you ignore them.

And yet..... They stood by your side during the most desperate times.

What more can you ask from them? Rather than taking, give them what they should get.

Love them, as much as you can. You'll never know when they'll be gone. You'll never know when they'll go away. But you can learn to know, that they are part of your life.

Love them.

So to say..

I love you, Mom.

Thank you, for my 20 years and counting on Earth.

You're the best one can ever have.

For YOU.

2009-05-04T19:20:00.003+08:00

I dedicate

I'm Yours by Jason Mraz
With You by Chris Brown
All About You by McFly

to you.

Listen to all your hearts content and I mean every single word from the bottom of my heart that's been sung in those songs.

<3 you,

For I'm Yours; I'm always With You and it's All About You in my heart.

X and K.O.'s.

2009-05-03T21:37:00.005+08:00

Xbox 360.

Guess what. My uncle just bought it a few days ago, and now I'm shooting my way out in Gears of War 2. Note that exams are just around the corner. Damn... Next week, no more fun and games, more to books and misery for me.

Had 2 birthday party-thing-a-ma-jing this week, one which I had spent at least 4 hours plus in a cybercafe playing whatever games we could play which I paid for 6 hours ( it was a package thing, RM10 for 6 hours ) and it lasted till 4 a.m. in the morning; and another was at a friend's house where beer is cheaper than water and only liquor and not sea coconut as your drink.

Went out for Ko-re-an food again and finally, and I mean FINALLY, went for the Eye On Malaysia ride that has been in Malacca since like God-knows-when. Fun times. Oh not to forget, Jolly Pongs are available for sale at that Korean shop that we went, Tok Su Gong (or something like that, sorry if i misspelled it).

Now something has been bothering me today. I'm wondering why are things that way and I'm this way? Things being, exams are near and me being lazy. Shit, if I don't start now I'm gonna be the next jump-from-a-building victim. The thing is, instead of bringing a book to my grandma's place, I brought a game. -.- Well practically I forgot about the book but still.. haha!

Come to think of it, that dreaded month is coming. Gotta load up my guns and pack up on my ammo so I can create a blast! You know what I mean! XD

Shit. Study-lah Zachhh! Don't blog!

Zach says:

swine flu For The Win

LOVE YOU HEART YOU MISS YOU ALL ABOUT YOU

Sometimes..

2009-04-27T01:14:00.003+08:00

It gets kinda rough.

Sometimes..
It gets worse and worse.

Yet, sometimes,
It feels far apart.

But I do know,
that Sometimes,

Things are too good to be true.
Too honest to be known,
and yet we just carried on.

Yes. Sometimes,
We might not be the way we are,
Things might not go the way we want,
Words might not be the right ones.

But I do know that,
I for one,
All the time;
Cherish.
you.
Heart.
you.
Love.
you.

Yes, you.
My one-of-a-kind....
pillow.
you, carry the 'heart' inside of you.
the picture that I treasure more than what I can dream of.
It was given on the day where love conquers all.
And now I'm captured.

Boom boom boom (gotta get get~)

2009-04-23T03:29:00.002+08:00

Dammit the song is repeating in my head!!

Gotta get get~ list:

Boom boom boom.
Boom, with more boom.
And lastly booms.

Now tell me how in the world are you supposed to get 'boom's?

Okay so today partially sucked. I watched a horrible chinese movie, had a class that I totally forgot about, plus my mom got into an accident so now I'm supposed to fetch her to work in the morning. Well honestly I don't mind, not at ALL but then the thought of waking up early just drained the life out of me.

The sniper. Sounds unbelievably cool as a title, and yea it has gunsssss. But the thing is the story sucked and the action sucked and pratically the whole movie sucked so whattheheck I'm not gonna talk about this anymore. All I know is I wasted RM8. -.-

I gotta go to bed now because I'm supposed to wake up in 4 hours or so. Dang, I hate the thought of waking up earlyyy!!

Anyways, <3 don't feel bad. It's not at all your fault. =)

I have something to say to you

2009-04-21T20:04:00.004+08:00

There's only 1 thing, 2 say; 3 words, 4 you.

Sarang Hae Yo!!

But now there's more!! it goes up right till 6, currently.. AND STILL COUNTING!

But nevertheless, my feelings are true.

And I know yours too.

Things never can get better, huh?

Hope you liked the food!

Surprises, that's me! :P

PM10 still ROCKS!

2009-04-15T11:22:00.003+08:00

Again I'm posting this, to let people know that they(with me as the 'soundman') made it to the finals of the Drama Fest and they rocked the stage!

There was no big busted girls.

No exotic dance scenes.

No Thai kickboxing stuff.

Only fun, as a team.

To all the people in the group, F-tards, keep your heads up high because only yours was special and you guys were the one that was different from others.

From what I've seen after so long:

To Marilyn: You were awesome, the dance, the speech as May Yin Abdul, and even as the narrator; like what the judge said: you were consistent and you acted as though as you owned the stage, with the long legs. Okay minus the long legs. You did great and EVERYONE is proud of you! (right people?)

To Sammy: Your scream, was really piercing! After so much alterations to the drama you still acted your best! And the rocker violinist was crazy! haha!

To Yang Tze: The mole was awesome! End of story. Don't fret about the microphone thingy, it was a technical error. Even with that you managed to dance well! So be proud, finally you turned into human again from a dancing bear!

To Chun Aun: LOLed at your kiss, from a far it looked as real as hell! The crab walk is really a mind-blowing thing, and I mean it -.-" but it was funny!

To Jordan: Ello brother! Dual roles in a scene? That was really the bomb for the judges, till they don't know what to do with you! Haha! If only there were a 'spare' throphy huh? Then that would like make even the best actor/actress drool.

To Daniel: Hello old man! The quarrel scene and the part where you died, it was flawless as usual. You did great! I could even see the foams on the floor from the back.

To the others that helped and played in some roles: Without you people, I don't think that entering the finals was even possible. Even though it was a minor role, it showed a big impact to the judges.

To the people that supported the other night: 1 word- Ganas. I bet that they were happy enough just to see you guys there!

I for once helped out an undeniable finalist group that proved themselves to be more than what they think they are. I am proud, to just be there and helping about.

F-tards, F-tards, Go GO GOOO! (F you).

TECHNO - preneurship

2009-04-14T09:27:00.004+08:00

www.teamrocketgo.blogspot.com

We sell food and rocket fuel for the needy, with prices ranging from RM1.50 to RM4.00. So do come visit us at president's square, where our booth is located. For more info, check out the blog link above!

We will be there for a maximum of four(4) days only, till the end of this week. So please do get something from us if you haven't, because if not then you're not a good friend. :( (just joking)

The scene that's embedded in my thick skull

2009-04-12T02:46:00.004+08:00

Without this event, I would never have met YOU.

Without this dance, I would never have known YOU.

Without this performance, I would never have encountered YOU.

My life-changer.

This scene is still fresh in my mind, as though as it was just yesterday.

And I actually thought you were there as a spectator.
Didn't know that you were dancing until all the commotion began.

The heart cries..

2009-04-11T08:48:00.001+08:00

'To you, sweetheart',
Would you let me 'stop and stare',
On the 'pictures of you',
While waiting for 'your call',
Because you have 'stolen' my heart.

Gladly,
I would make you my 'wonderwall',
And 'obviously',
Its 'all about you',
Who always makes me fly 'higher'.

Without a doubt,
I'm right 'here without you',
And 'what hurts the most',
Is not being able to be 'your guardian angel',
But 'I can wait forever' for it to happen.

So,
If it's just 'you and me',
I would be 'blind', blinded by your beauty,
Because you have the 'lips of an angel',
And you made me 'realize',
That I can make a 'sacrifice' again.

But,
If my heart is not 'with you',
I will never 'look back in anger',
To 'apologize' and to forgive everything,
Because you're the 'best I ever had'.

Therefore,
Before our hearts turn to 'crumbs' of despair,
While it still 'feels like tonight' is the night,
'my love', 'everything you want' will be granted,
For 'it's not over', 'this i promise you'.

This poem was created with the titles of songs that i often listened to. All those '...' are the titles.I created this long time ago, when I was out of my senses with nothing else better to do. So I'm posting it again, hoping that it'll gain popularity. LOL!

*EDIT* read the title followed by the poem, the title is part of the poem.

Think. Act.

2009-04-09T00:25:00.005+08:00

There are times when people change. People do change. Yet, some of them are unaware of it. Some are still dwelling in their current state thinking on how to take another step ahead, while the hand that they're holding on to actually stops behind them.

They've lost their blast, their impact; like a firecracker that was once loud, being silenced after having contact with water. They have lost their 'bang'. They no longer flicker in the dark, only silence and darkness.

Things are different already. Where are the moments that are unaccounted for? What happened to the once fairytale scene?

Words and feelings felt alike, thorns, that linger among shadowed alleys unlit. Striking only at the moment that is most hurtful.

And the only thing you will say at the end is:

What have I done?

Nickolas's Birthday part 2

2009-04-08T23:35:00.006+08:00

The photo that was taken in the middle of the road
at night after having massive rounds of CS.

The video
that was taken at some dark place
with loads of noise.

OH MY GOD I HAVE PS3(s) IN MY HOUSE!

2009-04-08T02:48:00.011+08:00

I have em!

I have em right here!!

In my house!!!

But wait.... there's more.. I have 2 of em!!!!!

but only for a day..with limited games.

Still.... a PS3 is a PS3 and a fan will always be a fan so I'm now drooling like a madman. LOL!

Ridge Racer 7 and Burnout Paradise, you're gonna get pawned!

Anyway,
People, please do come for the Drama Fest in MMU this coming week, on the 14th of April. Support the underdog of the bunch, PM10!!

As a sound supervisor/ technician of the group, *ahem* I would like to wish ourselves

~ CONGRATULATIONS ~

Well without everyone, everything is nothing right? Though you can say I angkat glamor only! LOL! (but if my timing was to be off, mati la u all hahaha! right right, my Lady G?)

You guys did well; very well to be honest. Thumbs up and an applause for you people!

Boo to the 'others', Fcuktards Fcuktards go go go!! XD

Anyway these people are nuts. Stay clear from them, by all means.

You can tell just by looking at what they're doing.

You can tell by the way they dress. *Batman!*

You can tell on how ridiculous they act.

But you can't stop them from winning the competition.
Look at how determined they are.... minus the grapes.

Toddles~

The colourful 'congratulations' reminds me of something..Do you remember?

Happy Birthday Nicklancer!

2009-04-05T17:15:00.004+08:00

He's now 21 years of age.

He's now eligible to enter any casinos.

He's grown a little fatter than before. =)

He's....

NICHOLAS HIEW VOON KEAT

Happy birthday!

And this is how we actually celebrated for him. First by going to ikan bakar. Then after that, at a secluded area somewhere in Malacca, with a cake and a very very loud birthday song sang by us! Oh and he got a surprise as well! Hahaha! Finally with CS and DotA to end the day. (didn't manage to knife you before 12, damn!)

It was 3a.m. in the morning, with little cars , we took a picture in the middle of the road! Too bad Siew went out of place. He was somewhere farrrrrrrrrr~ right. :P

Please stop pawning me in squash.. :/

Dreams and Letdowns

2009-03-31T23:27:00.001+08:00

I had a dream.
That I could fly from the highest swing.
I had a dream.

Dream - Priscilla Ahn

Yeah I had a dream. But not that I can fly from swings. I dreamt that I was in a train station somewhere, departing to someplace that I've never even heard of before. There I was, embarking on a journey to some place foreign. It seems normal, but it gets weirder; my pet dog was with me, only that he was way bigger and he could talk!! The funny thing is, he was the tour guide, to a place called "Kamela" (which I THINK don't exist, even if it does this place must be damn 'hulu' man) and we're supposed to go fishing there. What the heck. my dreams are dreams that can make you retarded sometimes.

I woke up earlier today, thanks to my mom; she asked me to fetch her to her office so she wouldn't have to drive back since she's going off to KL to do her work stuff. Waking up early means lack of sleep, lack of sleep means late for class. LOL!

I was reading the papers, until I stumbled upon Baskin Robbins promotion on every 31st of a month. Well, since it was like quite uncommon so I decided to get one. Drove all the way there with a friend just to know that I have to spend more than the discounted price (that bloody stall ran out of Pints, meaning if I wanted to get the promotion I've got to pay at least 33 bucks, so screw it) so instead I got a 2 scoop cup thing-a-ma-jing. Bastards, conmens.

Well intentionally it was for her. But it melted quite a bit along the way, so we had like water-ice cream instead. Those damn conmens forgot to put dry ice around the cup.

Well now here I am, blogging when I should be studying, ranting when I should be happy, and sulking when I should be watching a movie.. T-T ( I know it's not your fault, but I told you I'll be super duper sad if we couldn't yesterday >.<)

Well.

Here comes another week of missing you much.

Sometimes I wonder.How much?

The thought that counts.

2009-03-21T18:49:00.005+08:00

I saved this post long ago for a reason. I wanted the date of this post, to show that I still do remember, will remember and always will.

On this very day, I was on a bus heading for Pulau Redang in Terengganu; with you there by my side. I can still recall the whole thing; from the start of the journey right up to the end of it. Where you practically slept like a log! :P (just joking!!)

All i want to say here is... it's been 5 months.

=)

5 wonderful months filled with nothing but laughter and joy for the both of us.

5 months that has plenty of memories to look onto; and so much other things in between.

By the time you read this, meaning you already had what I should have gave you long long time ago. Hope you like it very much! :)

P/s: it's pink!
P/s: Too bad the ice cream melted!!!

(This post is actually dated on 31st of March 2009)

Redang? Holiday? OMG.

2009-03-21T16:45:00.009+08:00

Going off to Pulau Redang later!

Woottttt!!

See ya!

Random Jibbers.

2009-03-20T13:58:00.005+08:00

" 'cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinkin maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving. "

Right?

Stressed?

2009-03-18T23:18:00.000+08:00

I need this.

Reasons to love.

2009-03-16T23:02:00.007+08:00

This post is dedicated to someone who once asked me why. The answers are here, with more but I can't possibly write all of them down. >.< There's just too many!!

1. Your stare that often makes me wonder how much you love me.
2. How you would scold something or someone, in a very unique and cute way.
3. The warmth of your hugs.
4. Smiling even the slightest; that melts my heart.
5. The way you would just grab my hand sometimes just so you could say "I love you".
6. The way you pout to show that you are unsatisfied.
7. Words that you choose to say to calm me down are just the right words I wanna hear.
8. Kisses you gave that brightens up my day all the time.
9. How you would react whenever I surprise you with something.
10. Secretly you would grab hold of my fingers and smile.
11. The moment where you would just hold on the pain to yourself, right until I keep you in my grasp.
12. The way you look at me when I talk to you.
13. Your laughter that is amazingly unique and makes others happy.
14. Your patience, composure and determination that amazes me.
15. The valentine's gift which I treasure a lot that is hidden; the time you actually took to prepare with love.
16. How you surprised me on my birthday, from the beginning right up till the end.
17. The way you would eat, that I always think that it's weird but in fact it makes a lot of sense to do so.
18. The passion you have for dancing; how much you enjoy doing so that sometimes makes me wonder why am I not doing so as well.
19. Your look when you are jealous of something.
20. The cookies that you baked, with loads of love that tastes just right.
21. How you would just tell me 'everything's gonna be alright' whenever I'm going for exams.
22. The way that you care for me when I got hurt.
23. Your love that exceeds all that I know of.
24. The feeling I get when I'm with you just makes me love you even more each day.
25. How beautiful you look that remains unchanged.

Yes. You mean the world to me. The reason why my heart is beating is all because of your love and affection that transcends everything. You put in a new meaning to love for me. You breathe in a new life to me, a feeling that is only felt when I'm with you.

I wish to cherish this till the end. I wish, by all means, to love you till the end. <3

P/s : I love you... just too much. :)

Fernando Torres, you the man!

2009-03-15T03:14:00.003+08:00

Liverpool beat Manchester United. Wait, let me repeat, Liverpool, has beaten, Manchester United, at Old Trafford. Score?

Liverpool 4 - 1 Manchester United

OMG. HAHAHAHA!

I remember they claimed that it was long since any teams scored at Old Trafford. But then now, you just got four goals served on a platter! Wait there's more! Throw in a red card and two remarkably epic goals that stunned Van Der Sar himself. Thanks to you, Torres, for the equalizer in the first half! You the man!!

. . .

2009-03-14T20:05:00.005+08:00

I hate being this way.
I despise myself for even having the thoughts inside.
There are so many things running through,
So little time to make it true.
I hate the feeling of this despair,
Untold truths of white.
White turns to black eventually with time,
Then everything falls out of place.
There is no way out from this;
Since the beginning it seems to repeat itself,
eating away bit by bit.

It seemed so far at an instant,
The distance it takes to walk through it out.
But I have faith.
It will change.
It MUST change.

Who watches the Watchmen? I do.

2009-03-07T16:10:00.004+08:00

Zach's Journal

Friday, 6th March. Time: 9.20p.m.

Okay so yesterday, me and a bunch of friends went off to Dataran Pahlawan to catch a movie titled 'The Watchmen". Basically it's based on a comic book that is published back in the 80's when comics were hailed as computers and computers at that time were bought only by the rich. Anyways, this particular movie has many plots and twists, ranging from politics to superhero crisis and eventually even sex. -.- But to even consider all those in a comic, imagine reading about politics in a comic; isn't it cool? Normally, for a regular comic strip, it'll be just THAT. Either jokes about life or superheroes beating the crap outta villians stuff. But this, This..... It's unique. (Well at least to me). Minus the ^^V scenes and the gore, I'd rate this movie 8/10.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx BEWARE! SPOILERS xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Note that some of the costume heroes and villians in the movie are kinda stupid (there's one who has purple cloth wrapped all around him like Barney and has a thick rope around his waist, I think he's the dumbest -.-)

Also, in Malaysia, we censor a lot of scenes; and sometimes we censor the wrong part. Yeah, censor Dr. Manhattan's blue willy, but don't censor the sex video playing on the T.V.(s) at the background! Heck there's even two of em! Good job, Malaysian Censorship Board! That was the first time I've seen THAT on a huge screen in the cinema!

Who watches the watchmen?
Who would want to watch the watchmen?

I do. Cool.

Maybe it's just me.

Are you the Hitz.fm Fugitive?

2009-02-25T11:47:00.003+08:00

Dude, read my blog and let me win a hundred thousand ringgit, please? Which is unlikely.

Yesterday when I was in the car, I heard on the radio that apparently the fugitive was in Malacca!!! My facial expression went like this:

($.$)

How could you not when all you need to do is just ask? Too bad, I had squash practice so I can't go out searching for people to inquire. I instead asked Marilyn whether is she the fugitive and got a good whacking. =.=" I was just making sure niiii mahhhhh.... >.<

Anyway, that's too much free money to let to waste. I wanna get a new computer. A new handphone. Lots of other things as well. Damn.

Chinese New Year. She said she liked the picture and since my blog has little pictures, I present you this.

P/s: miss. you. most.

Bust a move! Crack a nut.

2009-02-20T16:26:00.002+08:00

The title makes no sense by the way, so yeah... Anyway, I have games to share to you people (complimentary of Siew, who's surname ends with 'ewww') if you ever feel bored and somehow want to play some cute and funny game.

Crayon Physics

This game is cool. End of story. Basically it's about you, trying to get the ball/apple/red round thingy to somehow touches the star, as your goal. In order to do so, you can start off with drawing lots of stuff around, like a hammer, a platform or maybe even a pulley. It can look darn crappy but in order to reach your goal to get to the next level, who cares? Draw away! There are numerous puzzles to solve, some as easy as sitting down while some can be confusing each in their very own islands. Just apply physics!

Amount of puzzles available are stated on the islands.

Enter an island and this is what you get; puzzles!

There are levels that requires you to think as well on how to get the ball to its destination. Almost all the levels are pretty creative and fun to play with, thus spending time on this simple yet exciting game is worth it.

Take for example this one:

The square-shaped owls are a form of an obstacle for you to get the star.

This rather simple puzzle can be solved with....

Drawing! (Look at my crappy drawing)

You can even use rockets.

Even on a ship.

Simple yet mind baffling.

That's Crayon Physics.

World of Goo

World of Goo. It really means lots and lots of goo balls, all at your disposal. Your objective is to collect as much goo balls as possible and reach a certain amount of quota that is required for you to advance to the next level. The graphics is superb for a game like this, the colour just well blended. It has lots of exciting levels; build towers made out of goo to reach a pipe where it sucks all the other goo, make bridges that are so flimsy and fragile, or even fly the goo balls to a destination. But it's not always that simple, mind you. The towers and bridges you make will indeed abide to the laws of nature; it will need plenty of support as gravity applies! It's not as easy as it looks, I can assure you.

With colours brilliant as these, how could you not play such a game?

In order to access the levels, you have to finish each chapters accordingly. There are a total of 5( I think) chapters with plenty of levels around to complete.

Select the goo balls and start building your own goo tower/bridge/whatever!

Just drag em' and place em'.

Build, build, build to reach the pipes.

Once you've completed a level, statistics will be shown; number of moves, extra goo balls collected, and the time taken for you to finish the task. Every level has a special goal, which is nearly impossible to achieve. If you do get it done, meaning you're a monster. OCD, they call it, which stands for Obsessive Completion Distinction.

See this toad?

Build your way through! Those pink balls are able to lift up things, by the way.

That's all about it. Enter the World of Goo to see for yourself! It is really fun!

If you want either/both of these games, just tell me then I might be able to give it to you.

P.s: GG is really nice! OMG. Watching with YOU makes it even better!!! <3 <3

Tuesdays with Zachy.

2009-02-17T23:51:00.003+08:00

Hate em. End.

Tuesdays are when:

Classes are like monkey poo poo, 6 hours of pure boredom straight in a row, non-stop, from without any lunch break what-so-ever; plus not to forget all the lecturers are really, REALLY boring.

Its really really hot, I don't know why but mostly Tuesdays it won't rain a single drop.

Normally Tuesdays I'll be lacking of food because my breakfast, lunch and dinner are all messed up.

Almost all my laboratory sessions are on Wednesdays, so I gotta sleep wayyy~ earlier even when I supposed to be free from classes on Wednesdays.

I can't meet her on this day.

I have to hang clothes in the morning before I go to class, which means I gotta wake up earlier.

F%^K I hate Tuesdays.

There you go, Tuesdays, my style.

Freaking hate em.

Valentine's? Frankenstined.

2009-02-15T22:14:00.010+08:00

Almost everybody in the world is celebrating it, the one and only day of the year where love is in the air.

Valentine's Day.

A day to remember for most, yet a day to forget for some. A day where dreams sometimes comes true, and sometimes don't. It's a gamble of some sort, putting yourself on the line; having the courage to actually make a move to convey your feelings or simply just to spend and create special moments with the one you love.

I woke up with a couple of things in my mind:

1. Prepare a paper made rose (which i failed badly at)
2. Make sure everything's in place, and well in order
3. Vacuum the house and dry the laundry ( Darn chores, never could run away from them unless it's Chinese New Year)
4. Make a special card
5. Shave. -.-

Everything went on fine, until I tried to make the rose. It was damn bloody complicated and in the end, it turned out to be like an onion. Blame my artistic talent, it sucks to the max I tell ya! Well at least the card turned out to be kinda... cool~! >.< style="font-weight: bold;">"why? because Z did not take me out.thts y. hmph!" and a text message saying "dude you gg liao". So I got ready in a flash... but in the end I pushed off from my house at 6 plus. @.@ But it was all good..

The sun had not set; my plan was to drive all the way to the beach to get a glimpse of the sunset. But it was cancelled though. :/ And that means early dinner for us, because she was already hungry and so was I.

dine at the Sampan + sunset = failed.

Flashback! - Earlier on I tried to make reservations for The Harpers Restaurant, but the dude there told me this:

"We accept reservations only".

Oh and so I thought what the heck, just try out my luck and see whether there's any more available tables there. So I parked the car and we walked to the restaurant, only to see in despair, a note written by hand pasted outside 'Fully Booked, Reservations only'. Damn.

dine at a proper restaurant = failed.

Meaning it's now down to the Coconut House. So we walked. And walked. And walked again (the car is quite a distance to the Coconut House because I thought it was supposed to be Harpers -.-) until we reached the place. It was damn packed alright, I thought it was full at first glance. But the lady at the restaurant came and told us that there's still one table at the back. Back sounds nice, right up to the point that it was so freaking AT THE BACK it was 3 steps to the toilet.

proper seating for dinner = failed.

My heart was heavy, out of guilt I think. I wanted the best and I ended up with the worst. She was telling me how much she 'hates' me, I guess I couldn't blame her because I hated myself too at that point. :( She even scrapped out so much coconut flesh and said "I'm digging out all the hate right here, make sure you drink it".(EDIT: She was just joking about it, and in the end we laughed out of the silliness.) But I cannot possibly forget how charming she was, under the dim light. The 'back' wasn't really that bad. It was actually quiet; minus the staff walking to the storeroom to get stuff. It wasn't what I expected, but it sure does made us happy. But the stupid pizza we ordered came 1 and a half hours later. -.- It made damn many customers pissed though. Must be the name of the place: Coconut House?

proper dinner = failed. (the lady said it was the oven, which is dumb because the 'oven' was
working fine)

Yeah movie was supposed to be at 10.25p.m., and I even booked the tickets beforehand. Due to unforeseen circumstances (stupid pizza oven?), we were late. To make things worse, there was a massive jam on the bridge at Kota Laksamana. We got stuck in a freaking jam. I should have known. But well, it was great to spend time with her in the car. Looking at her staring to blank space (I tell you, she thinking of how sucky the day is T-T) just dazzles me. Anyway...

Movie date = freaking failed.

So we decided in the end to just go to the beach and forget about the city. Which was the right move. We even traded our presents there, and I got something that I wanted a long long time ago. Thank you so much for it! It even has one with a frame, with me in itttttt!! :D :D :D *darn I gotta get a camera or a better phone to take pictures* You've been through so much trouble to get it done and I really appreciate everything. It's now in my room!

We spent the last few hours of Valentine's Day on the beach, talking. Yet, those last few hours meant the most to me. Everything was clear. Everything was perfect. After all the suffering and disappointments, at long last we got what we wanted. I would trade the whole day just for that few hours with her again. It was... beyond perfect. How could I ever wished for more?

Ending = the best you can ever get.

I'm really sorry though for making it so rubbishy and so unplanned-ny. It was my first one with you and I partially.... wait FULLY screwed it. But it was the best one I ever had, with all the disappointments all together. If I could re-do the evening I would, but I won't change anything for the ending because it was something to remember for me.

I love you, more than anything.

Hope my gifts was enough to make you happy.

If we didn't skip the initial plan, we wouldn't have made it to Coconut House because Sampan was crowded as well.

If we didn't have our dinner at Coconut House, we wouldn't have spent so much time together just walking away as though as nobody knew us.

If we didn't get that last table behind, I wouldn't have enjoyed my precious moments with you.

If we didn't wait that long for our dinner, I wouldn't have known so much more about you.

If we didn't miss the movie, we wouldn't have went to the beach to spend our Valentine's.

If we didn't went for the beach, I think I wouldn't have realised how lucky I was, just to be with you.

P.s. : Next year, no more hiding and no more disappointments! >.<
P.p.s : I looooooooooooovveeeeeee mine! :D I even wrapped it up and it's now under my pillow! :P

Pain?

2009-02-04T12:38:00.002+08:00

It's worse than everything you've ever imagined.
It's worse than the worse thing you could think of.
It's just so terrible that I can't find the right words to describe it.
Yes, It's a killer.
Reaping out your heart seemed more sensible than sustaining this torture.
Telling yourself, It's 'my' fault over and over again like a tape recorder,
being unconscious is the most sensible thing to do.
I deserved it.
So I definitely can endure it.

iLu.

lfhsdfhflsdhncvklbndfklbnsighaejaw

2009-01-31T11:52:00.001+08:00

F**K. I need a car.

Life As It Is

2009-01-25T22:00:00.005+08:00

There are times when you wake up in the morning with an uneasy feeling, just as if you made a huge mistake in your life and you can't do anything about it. My point is that uneasy feeling really is a pain in the butt.

Life's that way, it's unfair sometimes; it gives you happiness and takes them away the next day. It gets worse when you compare yourself to some lucky ba**ards out there who clean their asses with 50 dollar bills. Then you start to look at yourself, with a 50 cent coin on your hands, trying to imitate them.

"Fudge, it hurts!"

Dumbass. Of course it hurts, you're not using paper but coins!

My point is: The not-so-lucky ones try to do what the 'lucky' ones do and they fail miserably. It's a pity that the world's unfair. Always comparing and judging against each other.

Sometimes, doing good stuff can make you look like a donkey too. Imagine yourself, feeding a poor man on the street by giving them bread. Yeah, you're doing the right thing! But wait a minute... That poor man robs you instead, pointing at you with a knife in his hands claiming for money. You hand him your wallet, he takes the money and demands more from you. Where's the justice in this?

"I'm a retarded fudge."

Helping somebody won't really do you good.

The result: Doing the right thing can make you lose everything.

Limits mean everything. Without limits on something, it goes way out of control and when you know it, everything is gone. You need to apply the right amount of pressure to make it happen; too little won't have any effect on it, and too much will make you lose control over it. Take for example, money. Spend too little would make you look like a scrouge and too much would make you MC Hammer(This guy's bankrupt).

"It's just too little, too much, and I don't know how to control my 'powers'."

Uh huh.

Cuz if not, you're a goner.

Shoes!

2009-01-24T02:08:00.003+08:00

How delighted I am,
To acquire a new pair
of Nike's.

But to my dismay,
I could not obtain
any pictures of it online.

Here's the closest I could get. But the colour's different though.

Nike Air Prestige

A bit bold perhaps, because mine is red with a lil black around the sides. Oh well, gotta be bold to walk in the cold!

3 Months, 90 Days, 2160 Hours, 129600 Minutes.

2009-01-22T12:02:00.004+08:00

That's how long it's been aging. That's how long it's been growing ever since. If I could, I'll documentate every single minute we spent together, every single ups and downs we've had, every single word we said... into a book (this book will 'own' the Twilight series like this: *splat*). But that's impossible for me. So here I am, with a blog post, a happy face and a loving heart; it may be little still, but it already mean a lot to me.

Throughout those days, we had a couple of misunderstandings. But everything would be fine on the following day. See, I might not be the ideal one for you, but I'll try my best to close the gap and to be on par with the standard you're expecting for.

I remember the first time when I told you about everything. I really, really thought it was a mistake to do so. Since you were angry at that time. But fortunately, it wasn't because of me. It was someone else and I was mistaken. Though, that time I remembered I was mood-less at that time, sulked in my room till it was morning >.<". But it was the right thing to do, I believe. Look where we stand now. :D

Your passion for the one thing you LoVe the most really amazes me. I used to think that it was just a normal thing to do. But after every performance I've seen; you and your ..*ahem*.. crew blew me away. I was astonished, to know that it's not just that simple to do those stunts. Yet you stood out in the crowd, earning respect from everyone. There may be some moments when things won't go the way you want, therefore those moments would require you to be calm and contented. I know how hard it is to do so... alone. But now, it'll be easier, am I right? :)

For the last two months, every time I'd give you something, am I right? But for this time, it'll be delayed a bit, for it's with conjunction with the 'inaugural celebration' for your replacement 'pearl white'. So be sure to wait for it, because it's NOT that KOLOT, mind you! :)

Anyway, I think I ought to sleep now, gotta wake you up (which I failed miserably) later in the morning.

I know you love food. I love food too. Therefore, I love YOU!

Ps: Psssssttt. K-o-r-e-a-n-F-o-o-d, tomorrow, with your 'pearl white', if it arrives. <----- This is a date, you know?

Past few days.

2008-12-28T22:58:00.003+08:00

I should be studying! It's coming. I can feel the 'breeze'. Exams is just around the corner, yet here I am browsing for something I don't really need just yet... (not to mention blogging...)

Shoes~!

Damn the person who stole mine. (yes, mine was stolen.. T_T) He 'took' it, with my dogs around the porch from my shoe rack. So much for guard dogs, LOL!

Anyway..

Birthday?
The best one I ever had. Unexpected, yet heart-melting. Friends who made your day a better one! (with the guns and the knives).

Christmas?
Portugese Settlement. Crushed by cans, soap-filled cans that stings right up to your nostrils causing you to sneeze yet you can't because you are constantly sprayed with soap.

Exams?
Not prepared, can't screw up this time because if I do probably I'll be dead.

Holidays?
Stop.....thinking...........

@.@

I'm thinking too much. *slaps own face*

Reflections

2008-12-24T02:28:00.002+08:00

It would appear that at this particular time of your life you are going through a tough time. You are feeling (or have recently felt) miserable and depressed and perhaps you are still feeling that way. Maybe all the trials and tribulations just aren't worth it. Your present anxieties could have been associated with either your 'private' or 'business' life - whatever ... what you really need at this time is to get away from it all, maybe a vacation - alone, or better still, perhaps with someone that you know really cares for you, someone who appreciates you - not for what you have but for who you are. A short vacation may be all you need to afford you the time to recover and to get back to your normal vital self.

You are very self-sufficient and methodical. You presume to know where you are going but need to find a person who will recognise the way you are, not be too demanding and who is, as they say in Italy, 'Simpatico'.

Loneliness is soul destroying and at this time you feel lost and lonely, perhaps it is because you feel so frustrated that you are prepared to go out of your way to become emotionally involved with someone who could accept you for what you are. You are egocentric, antagonistic and quick to take offence, although it must be said, you can control your pent-up up emotion and thus avoid open conflict.

You are feeling trapped by the situation as it stands at this time and what is more, you feel powerless to remedy it. You are stressful, angry and disgruntled. You feel that everything that you try to do to change the situation is thwarted and your hopes and aspirations all seem to be receding into the ever distant future. You have reached the state where you now doubt whether your dreams will ever be achieved and this is not only causing mental stress but heartache. You need to get away from it all - you need to have time to think, to recuperate, to be able to make your own decisions.

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!

The weird thing is that it's 99% accurate. Got it from Marilyn's blog and wanted to try it out myself. Ended up having something that stabs your heart and smacks your forehead hard, like a car crash.

"How many times are you gonna say that anyway?", said Sandra.
That was the last time I'm saying it.

Honestly, it sucks badly to just sit around and do nothing when you can. Even to the person whom you treasure the most. Nobody else is to be blamed but yourself. It keeps on repeating; too much and it'll be gone in a flash, without even realizing it.

Shit happens, yes... but too much shit for a short period of time is unbelievable.

Karma perhaps? (I shouldn't have killed those ants...)

According to Beng, this month (freakin' December) is the period where love goes unintentionally wrong. Tragic, yet true. I'm a believer.

Hapeee Burfdaeee!

2008-12-21T02:39:00.005+08:00

To me!

19 years of age and yet.........

Thanks to all of you who celebrated together at Mori's (Nic, Beng, Jason, Siew, LowPetPet, Adrian, Boon Yew, Dennis) along with the CS game! Man, no matter what you guys are still the best and I really, really appreciate everything that's been done! Thankssssssss!!!

Thanks to 'You', the one with the Digi shirt. You've done so much in a day to make me happy that I can't possibly stop smiling like a donkey. @.@ Everything was a surprise right up to the end. The 1st one is really comfy, beyond my expectations. The 2nd one made me smile in shock, to know that it was 'hidden' in the car boot. Lastly, the 3rd one made me speechless yet happy; contented with everything. It sealed the whole thing. =) You can't possibly tell how much I actually appreciate everything that you've done and honestly, je t'aime. Sarang ha yo. :-D

To my family, you guys are the best. Happy Birthday to you too, dad. Having the same birthday really rocks, especially with your dad!! Mom, thanks alot for the shoes, though it's delayed, I don't mind as long as i get em'! Sis, you're as lame as ever but yet again, you did give me something and the thought that counts!

Every year seems to be different from the other. This year is definately better than last year! Very, very much contented!

Thank you to all of you, again! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

P/s : 21st december, you think I'd forget? :P

Tagged by Marilyn (Jumper!)

2008-12-17T11:32:00.009+08:00

I've been tagged! And so here's my answers for the tag. Remarkably, some are like true and fits just right. But there are some too that's stupid. @.@

1. Put your iTunes/any other players on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 1 X infinity number of friends who might enjoy doing this.

+++

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Here In My Home - Malaysian Artistes For Unity (Weird enough..)

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
The Man Who Can't Be Moved - The Script (Cool~)

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
With You -Chris Brown (Somehow I have nothing to say on this)

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Face Down - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (In other words, 'no face see'. Haha!)

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Stop and Stare - OneRepublic (Nooo~!! I don't stare at stuff!)

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Cookie Jar - Gym Class Heroes (If it means food then it's true)

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Let Love In - Goo Goo Dolls (Ewww.)

8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
The Little Things - Colbie Cailat (For example, nagging >.<)

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Everything You Want - Vertical Horizon (Yeap! Anything 'you' want!)

10. WHAT IS 2+2?
You and Me - Lifehouse (If only I could answer this in exams.....)

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Time After Time - Elliot Minor (I don't get what it means though.. )

12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
I'd Rather Be With You - Joshua Radin ( :-) Yeap, more than anything)

13. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Finally - Fergie (Finally, I'm studying. Yeah right.)

14. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
1234-Plain White T's (Eh I got the same one! Fate fate!! )

15. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
How To Save A Life - The Fray (Hahahahahaha! I don't wanna die!)

16. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Everything's Magic - Angels and Airwaves (No idea what it means)

17. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Pictures Of You - The Last Goodnight (Eh eh i don't do those stuff okay??)

18. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
I Don't Love You - My Chemical Romance (Which is totally untrue! I love all of you, only lesser than someone-lah)

19. WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Good Days Bad Days - Kaiser Chiefs ( @.@ )

20. HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Gives You Hell - All American Rejects ( Die with vengeance )

21. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Unwell - Matchbox Twenty ( I don't need anybody else, I've the perfect one already)

22. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Gotta Be Somebody - Nickelback (Yeah, somebody RICH!)

23. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Evening News - Jason Lo (I rarely watch the news..)

24. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Jumper - Third Eye Blind ( LOL. It's in the post title already.)

People I'd like to tag:

Chan Yang Tze *mampus you, double tag*
Yvonne *Update!*
Sandra Wong *Say wanna badminton*
Desmond Yong
Esther Cheah *What's so funny with my facebook status update?*
Shereen Tan
Derek Ho
Bla bla bla.... Whoever who reads my blog.

P.S. : I'm sorry for spoiling your day. T-T

PCFAiR!

2008-12-12T23:46:00.002+08:00

Going for it tomorrow at KLCC. Hoping to see good stuffs and buy good stuffs without money. T_T Bankrupt!

But I think I'm gonna get a printer, a cheap one that's worth it.
Other than that, we'll see what comes along the way....
Can't wait to see those epic booths with super-computers and rigs that might just melt your buttocks off your pants!
Not to mention, new games that would be introduced to the public.

But the crowd will definitely kill me and suffocation is the cause of death. Imagine the smell of super-sweaty armpits from hell, with those tentacle-like 'bulu'. Crap.

Pork porridge, here I come~

CrappyGassySandra

2008-12-10T00:54:00.008+08:00

A friend of mine (Sandra D-A-M-N youu!) sent me this e-mail, asking me to "go see lah!!! plsplspls" after saying "eh i forward u stg DAMN geli". Curious enough, i checked my email, titled 'Wash First - Bra(scary -.-)'.

"Why would she send me something about bras?" =.="

*click*
*click click scroll*

"WTF".

Disgusted. Gross. Eventhough I have less chances to actually 'acquire' THEM, I'm still super freaked out.

I didn't bother to read the story attached to it and the first thing I saw was this:

[ picture removed due to complaints. Ask for picture if you want to have a look =) ]

There you go. It still gives me the creeps.

Here's the bloody story which I think is pure bullshit.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wash your bra's before you wear them!!! Please make it a habit from now to wash your newly-purchased Undergarments before wearing them. This is sensitive.
After anthropologist Susan McKinley came back home from an expedition in South America, she noticed a very strange rash on her left breast.
Nobody knew what it was and she quickly dismissed it believing that the holes would leave in time.

She decided to see a doctor after she started developing intense pains. The doctor, not knowing the exact severity of the disease, gave her Antibiotics and special creams. As time lapsed the pain did not subside and her left breast became more inflamed and started to bleed.

She decided to bandage her sores. However, as Susan's pain grew more intense she decided to seek help from a more qualified doctor.
Dr. Lynch could not diagnose the infection and told Susan to seek the aid of one of his colleagues who specialised in dermatology.

Unfortunately, the doctor was on vacation. She waited for two weeks and finally was able to reach the dermatologist. Sadly, a life changing event was about to unfold during her appointment.

To Miss McKinley's surprise, after she removed the bandages, they found Larvae growing and squirming within the pores and sores of her breast.
Sometimes these wicked creatures would all together simultaneously move around into different crevices. What she didn't know was that the holes were in fact, deeper than she had originally thought, for these larvae were feeding off the fat, tissue, and even milk canals of her breast.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think it's photoshop-ed, because the larvae/worm/maggots/whateverfcukitisIdontcare is sorta like placed in the holes neatly. But DAAYYYMMMNN. Look at the size of em'. (Not the tit!)

Nightmares oh nightmares. Here I come.

T-T

P.S. - another random picture courtesy of Sandra.

Notice the letters- 'g', 'y', and 'e' there? Wattafak? Chinese-fied word for gay.

BadSquaTen

2008-11-20T19:14:00.004+08:00

Badminton, Squash and Tennis.

All in a week.

WOOOooot!

Fun I tell ya, but tiring and hell-of-a pain. Getting your face burned by the sun (played in the afternoon because of our noobness, we thought it was gonna be cloudy throughout the day-because it was at first!) and getting SmAsHeD by squash balls plus doing splits in the badminton court was all part of the plan. I used to have muscle aches and cramps after any sport but right now they're all gone. More like I got used to it.

Though, I don't see me getting any larger in terms of body size... LOL. Maybe I'm not eating right. >.< ( Pork meat FTW! )

It was fun though. I would love to do it more often!! :)

Physically fit? Nope.

Sunburn? Yeap!

Blisters? Hell yeah!!

Fever? Uhuh!

Missing you? all the time......

Zombified

2008-11-15T02:57:00.004+08:00

Here I am, it's near 3 a.m. in the morning and I'm not asleep. Heck, I'm not even awake. Feeling rather brainless. I'm playing a Counter-strike-ish game called Far Cry 2 and all I did was kill a person and then stab him over and over again with my knife. I don't really know why I did that but the sheer amount of pleasure I had to release whatever 'anger' that's inside me was unbelievable. Maybe I'm turning into a zombie. A heartless one. The weird thing is, I can't even sit by myself anymore, alone, or else I'll start thinking of useless and wrong things that may/might/possibly create a mild heart attack at this age. It hurts though and I have no idea why (well maybe I do but I'm tired of guessing) it does. Screw me and my civilized acts. I'm going rambo tonight and I don't think I wanna sleep though.

Being a useless one won't help much. Changing into something less useless needs plenty of heart. Heart is what I'm lacking right now. The 'heart' to know what I'm dealing with as I'm totally clueless here. But I do know I was sincere.

ny1-iram <3

Shit Happens.

2008-11-14T10:42:00.002+08:00

It's funny how it changes. I hope it's really nothing much. Waking up with a bad feeling is really really...... shit-ty. Not to say that it's not caused by me, but i suppose it's my fault so maybe I deserve this. But I do know that whatever I said earlier was from my heart.

Can you tell?

2008-11-07T19:34:00.000+08:00

Can you tell
By the way I look into your eyes
The stare I give
When you and I are alone together.

Can you tell?
With my gestures on everything
Acting dumb but profound
Everytime we meet around the bend.

Can you tell?
When I offer you my hand
With slight hesitation
To cross the hazardous and perilous 'ocean'.

Can you tell?
With the music I make
whistling,
Saying "I love you" in secret.

Can you tell?
When I call on to you
For dinner
But in fact it's just an excuse.

Can you tell?
How much?
That a simple guy like me
Could actually be lucky enough?
To have known you
To have met you
Indeed. I love you.

Nothing Tastes As Good As Chocolate Fudge

2008-11-07T00:38:00.007+08:00

The feeling of failing something is beyond supreme. Getting your head chopped off and then minced into meatballs is less painful than the feeling you get when you realise that you screwed up something that's not supposed to be screwed around with. Poking the Ogre sounds so fun and tempting, until he realises and smashes you into bits of shredded meat. Well I guess my 'ogre' was the exam paper. I poked too hard and now it's mad. It's making me study for another exam. Which is bullshit and I wonder how did I actually failed that paper in the first place. But making a fuss about it is not gonna change a thing. Guess I'll just have to live with the fact that I'm a moron and a moron should perish in the fires of hell, well in this case it's MMU's exam hall. Stupid me. Lazy me.

Anyway, speaking about failing exams won't make me happy. But there is this one thing that has actually trampled my heart and making me fall in love with it day by day. My

Creative Sound Blaster X-Fi XtremeGamer Fatal1ty Pro Series

soundcard. Music to my ears. Well, literally. I didn't know that a soundcard could make so much difference. Seriously. Stupid stock on-board. You suck! (go Google for more info~)

Oh and another thing, I went to Port Dickson the other day and had tons of stuff to write about but currently I'm super duper lazy and moodless so I guess it'll just have to wait, especially the post about Noobie's Penyu face that i miraculously caught on camera. Thumbs up for the picture!

Badminton and squash and tennis. These few days, continuously I've been going for those. The pain. In my muscles. In my legs and arms. Not to forget my buttocks. @@ Oh well, I've got used to the cramp-y feeling already so what the heck. Another round, anyone? (Pardon me for the errosive grips on the squash racquets earlier on, to those few who have played with me. They were unbearable for me too, the intensity of the smell LOL)

I want to share a story about my luck today. I went to KFC for dinner earlier on and I ordered a Snack plate (2 pieces of fried chicken, a bun and 2 small containers of mashed potatoes and coleslaw). As usual I wanted breast meat but the bugger said it was out of stock ( how in the world could a fast food restaurant ran out of chicken breast meat??) and so she insisted on replacing it with thighs. Oh well, I was hungry and I took it without complaining. So I started eating and stuff and WTFFOMGBBQ it's not cooked properly. You could see chunks of blood in it, like, I dunno, blood? Ewww.... But the gluttonous me continued eating until at a point a friend of mine said, "Hey you know, you can change that uncooked piece with another one". I stared at him for a minute and looked back at the piece I had on my plate. I ate almost all of it, except for the uncooked part. "But I ate like, almost all already. Still can meh?" My friend replied, "Go and change-lah, can one". So I went and I got a new piece. Woot! The counter for the number of pieces of chicken I had now is 3. Now, with my dumb luck, the other piece was the same too! Another free piece! So in total I had like 4 pieces of chicken, paid for 2 and the other 2 was complimentary. How satisfying. Now I'm gonna be as fat as Siew. LOL.

To a friend of mine who had 3rd place in a competition. In my eyes you guys are 1st place. :D The stupid PA system is messed up. Without the sound flaw I think you guys would do better. Don't worry, to many, you guys did well. So be proud of yourselves for the effort! Congratulations!!

Now I've gotta go study, again for sh!ts. Toodles and good night. Oh and God, thanks alot for the extra pieces of chicken. :)

Use Less Useless Things

2008-10-28T21:08:00.006+08:00

I have plenty of useless things. Junk. Disposable, nonetheless. But still I keep them because they're like too much memories around to throw them away. Take for example, my super old, super durable mechanical pencil that's filled with carbon in its core. It's freaking ugly, mind you. It's black in colour and missing it's cap (so I replaced it with another one of a different colour) plus sometimes the lead gets stuck for no reason. But, oh well, it's been with me for like since standard 6 and ever since then I did my exam papers with it right up to today. My point is, things that are considered useless do have it's memories.

The list goes on and on.
- Old textbooks (they're still on the selves)
- Cds
- Clothes
- Posters
- Magazines
- My old, fried power supply from my computer
- Slippers since primary school
- Toys since childhood
- Lotsa other crap around, if you were to dig hard enough I wonder what treasure you'll find.

Though, some things that have potential bad thoughts were hastily discarded. If you get what I mean. It might be costly, it might be thoughtful. But people do move on. New things come by, so do new thoughts.

But, how I'd wish that I could discard myself. How I'd wish that I could actually plan my future from the start. Useless? True enough. Trying to be NOT useless is the key of survival. I am far too stupid to even understand the pressure. If you were to watch 'Heroes' on TV, then you might know of a character in the series who has the ability to copy whatever she sees. I want that ability. I want to please other people. Especially you.

There are things that you can do and you can't do. They are laid right in front of me right now; and the limits of a man is tested badly. Je t'aime. Ti amo. Tangsinul sarang ha yo. Kimi o ai shiteru. That's all I can say in return of my dumbness; in return of my uselessness. By saying that, meaning, I'll find whatever means to make it up to you; even if I have to learn them all in an hour.

Now that I thought of it, I think my old toothbrush is around in the toilet somewhere still. THAT, I gotta toss away! @@